Only Fools and Horses: “A Slow Bus to Chingford” (Gaynor Ward)

In the opening scene, Rodney is alone on the sofa with the lovely (if none too bright) Janice and doing his utmost to talk the bra off of her. His intellectual approach actually works, but Del Boy enters just as things are heating up and offers Rodney a job as a “nocturnal security officer”. After a longish conversation – and more glimpses of Janice’s, if you’ll pardon me, fucking sexy pantyhose and strappy stilettoes – Del Boy squashes whatever hopes Rodney had of continuing the love session when he casually remarks that he has left Rodney’s “bondage ropes” in the garage. Janice, apparently not a kinkster, quietly sneaks out. Ah, how sweet it would have been.

– Janice…
– Yes Rodney?
– Get your bra off.
– I can’t.
– Well of course you can, you must live and be free.
– I can’t Rodney. I’m not wearing one.

CK 1997


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